December, 2004
Conquering Negativity in the Workplace
Carolyn Laredo, Esq. and Kathy Jaffe, CSW, MSW
As a business owner, your attitude is the foundation for your employee’s sense of reality. If you come into your office smiling, optimistic and approachable, then it’s easier to expect a positive workday. If you come to your office with a scowl on your face, resonating anger or a “don’t talk to me until I’ve had my coffee” energy, you can expect a negative work environment, and have no one to blame but yourself. Specifically, people with a negative attitude will see the challenges, the obstacles, and the possible pitfalls in the things they undertake. Those with a positive attitude will see the fun, the warmth among people, and the possible successes in the things they undertake. The perception of environment is most often immediate and automatic. Management should not contribute to or create a negative attitude in the workplace but should recognize and conquer negativity. The differences between the two can be subtle, but they are there. For instance, during an office meeting, someone can be pleased that a decision has been made while someone else may worry that they did not make the right decision.
When dealing with negative individuals, patients or vendors, it is important to communicate. Give individuals ample opportunity to vent their feelings and thoughts. As they share their gripes, listen quietly and fully. Repeat what you think is being said to assure that each of you are communicating effectively and explore ways to address the issues being discussed. Take the time to understand and be understood by everyone you come in contact with. That includes your family, friends, associates, vendors, patients and even your employees. Rage and violence flourish in an environment where people experience feelings of betrayal, anger and frustration, but are unable, or not allowed, to express them. Take the first step by offering an open ear. Keep in mind that if you’re talking more than listening, something is wrong.
When dealing with office staff, why not hold a formal “bitch” session. Give everyone with a complaint or gripe the opportunity to vent. Whether you are working one-on-one with an employee or with your entire staff, ask what they (the employee or your staff) would do specifically to resolve the problems they are bringing up. Ask for a minimum of two solutions for every complaint. Additionally, moderate the flow of gossip. If you notice the proliferation of rumors being circulated among your employees, verify them from the source. Despite popular opinion, work is not the place to gossip. It only creates animosity, tension and ill will. When dealing with the gossiper, call their bluff! Invite them to join you to confront the other individuals that are being talked about. Usually, the gossiper will shut up and not gossip again. Also, always have additional special projects to help the gossipers re-channel their energies into something more productive. The best tactic, though, is to remind your employees how they might feel if their private affairs were the subject of conversation.
The lack of positive or negative feedback is one of the leading reasons for negativity in the office. Your employees want to know what you think about their work product otherwise they don’t know how they are doing. If they don’t know if they are meeting or exceeding your expectations it then becomes virtually impossible to maintain a positive attitude. Employees often will take your lack of interaction to signify that something is wrong or that you simply don’t care. They may deliberately begin to engage in even more negative activities in the hopes of getting your attention, not unlike something we might have done when we were younger. When that doesn’t work, you can expect your turnover rate and sick day percentages to stay high as employees spend their time looking for employment elsewhere, or sticking around until something better comes along.
Instead of hoping that your employees know what to do, how to do it, why to do it and when to do it, acknowledge their behaviors, good and bad alike. Tell them what you expect and let your employees know that there are positive and negative consequences for their actions. So, if an employee doesn’t meet your expectation, confront that person. Ask him/her to come to your office or to join you in a private area away from where others can’t eavesdrop.
When confronting or even just speaking to an employee it is also important to know that persons behavioral style. Is he or she a person who just wants to hear the bottom line or one who needs to be approached with humor or in an informal manner? Other behavioral styles require different approaches like one that is logical or systematic and yet another that may need to be approached with specific details. By understanding these differences you will know whether you should either ask about the family or get right to the point of the meeting or outline your concerns in detail with specific examples. Be aware that the employee may try to divert the attention by shifting the burden/blame to other people in the office or on the patients themselves, if they feel threatened and are defensive. Don’t let them take you down that path. Laredo & Jaffe Mediation Group, LLC offers workplace “boot camps” filled with information on these topics and more. Our primary focus is to get people out of their work environments, for one day or a full weekend, so that they can focus on challenges that are confronting them in the workplace. Getting away from the workplace makes an ideal learning environment, allowing you to concentrate just on learning and building your skills. However, we also offer our classes on-site where we can train your entire staff at once. Contact us at 845.362.3543 for more information.
Contributed by:
Carolyn Laredo, Esq. and Kathy Jaffe, CSW, MSW
Carolyn Laredo and Kathy Jaffe are both partners of Laredo & Jaffe Mediation Group, LLC. They mediate workplace conflicts for the Equal Employment Opportunity Commission, Americans with Disability Act complaints for the Key Bridge Foundation, and the United States Postal Service. They also mediate divorce, same sex relationships, and family owned business disputes. They offer corporate and individual training boot camps, consulting and coaching services and have provided such services for Consolidated Edison, Co-op City, various hospitals and private offices.
